my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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