Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
