I'm gonna have a badass scar
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts