he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
