i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.