girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How does one acquire holy water?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.