just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
