I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
