apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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