what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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