I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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