that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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