We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
lol hangovers are for mortals.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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