My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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