girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
