1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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