STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
