so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
