nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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