we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
