The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
