The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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