i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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