why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
