I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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