after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
