Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
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He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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