If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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