she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dick very happy bro
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
