Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
