woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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