Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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