ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
