I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize