The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
