White coat. Heels.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
