We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
