Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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