This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
