Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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