If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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