Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
