These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
