I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
