you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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