dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
