is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
