I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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