Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
