I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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