I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
