He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
this just has baby written all over it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
