he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
