Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
