Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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