He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
COCAINE IS GR8
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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