If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
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My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
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Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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