ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
