East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
