Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
