Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
