I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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