wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
