just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize