Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
