where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
