We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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