Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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