i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will never coherently bang her
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That accounts for only three of the penises
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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