I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can you bring me the toilet please
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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