only if we run a train.
done.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
