guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
