My pussy is not your playground.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
